Hide yo’ kids! Hide yo’ wife!

If the topic of Christopher Columbus has come up while we were talking, within 30 seconds, you would know how I felt about that man.  In case you don’t know, well, let’s just say it’s a litttle stronger than most people.  I DO NOT enjoy that man!

I had the privilege of giving an indictment speech a couple weeks ago for one of my classes.  My teacher said we could talk about anything we wanted because this was our one chance to complain about something without having to find a solution for it.  While most of my peers spoke about football, GLEE, or the costs of weddings, I chose to write my speech on Christopher Columbus and the fact that he has a federal holiday named after him.

I’ve had strong feelings about Columbus Day and the man himself for years now, and it’s the perfect time to share my feelings with you since I have so much free time considering I can’t go to the bank or the post office or run to any “non-essential” governmental offices.

  • First of all, Columbus did NOT discover America, he freakin invaded it!  The Native Americans had been living in North America for quite some time.  I don’t think taking over someone’s land should be considered a discovery.
  • “Don’t mind me, I”m new here but I’m rich, therefore I’m better than you.  Imma commandeer everything you own suckas!”
  • “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue; in 1493, Columbus stole all he could see.”  I wish someone could have warned the natives to “hide yo’ kids!  hide yo’ wife!” maybe it could have saved some lives and some heartache.
  • Genesis 11.  Tower of Babel.  If I’m understanding that story correctly, God placed the Native Americans in North America.  Therefore, no one discovered this land, God picked them up and put them there like a rook on a chess board.
  • Columbus was a jerk.  He killed thousands of people and forced boatloads of people into slavery.  He raped and pillaged as he saw fit.  He brought diseases and weapons and a ridiculous amount of greed with him.

Columbus Day has been trending on Twitter all day and there have been some relatively truthful and just plain funny tweets about it.  Here are just a few of them:

  • Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by discovering someone else’s home, giving them diseased blankets, and then ignoring what you did to them.
  • Happy Columbus Day! One of my fav movies is “Pocahontas, ” or as Native Americans call it “Taken,” the prequel.
  • Happy Columbus Day! Let’s celebrate it by going up to random people and seizing their belongings and kicking them out of their homes!
  • Where do you think we would be today if Christopher Columbus had stopped and asked for directions?
  • The moral of Columbus Day is if You’re looking for gold, kill everything that gets in your way.

As you have gathered, I DO NOT enjoy this man at all.  I do not give him credit for discovering jack squat and he was a cruel and callous man.


One thought on “Hide yo’ kids! Hide yo’ wife!

  1. Pingback: wired for justice. | the fabric of my life.

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